Death, Shadow Work & Soul Retrieval

Death & Shadow Work

For those of you who may not know, I have been working closely within the community at the Center for Conscious Living and Dying in Swannanoa, NC, since last Fall. By turns I have completed their general volunteer training, joined the Healing Arts Team, stepped in to co-lead the Healing Arts Team, and am now close to completing their Direct Care training, which has been an incredible counterpart to the online death doula program I did several years ago through Going With Grace.

Something I was not necessarily expecting throughout these courses, and am so grateful is included, is the invitation to befriend my own shadow. Broadly put, shadow work is about bringing awareness to the parts of ourselves we are resistant to (pain/fear/trauma often rooted in past events), asking what those parts need to feel seen and validated, and learning to come to a place of love and acceptance of those parts of ourselves, rather than hiding or denying their existence due to shame, fear, discomfort, etc.

It’s understandable that within cultures that are very death-averse, or “thanatophobic,” trauma, fear and discomfort regarding death and dying are often pushed into shadow territory. When death and dying are not commonly discussed, there is not really anywhere for fear to go but to be hidden underground, only coming up when we are acutely faced with our own or a loved one’s mortality. And then we are not equipped to deal with the grief of ourselves or others, because of the lack of open discourse around death and dying.

Shadow work is asked of us in the course of becoming a death doula because when we inevitably find ourselves in a situation that bumps up against our own discomfort, we, in a supporting role to the dying and their loved ones, need to be able to identify and self-regulate our nervous system, understanding that whatever is coming up in that moment is a reflection of our own feelings and history. In doing this, and taking time to ground and reset, we are able to acknowledge our feelings, step outside of an involuntary state of reaction, and into one that is grounded in love and compassion for ourselves and those we are serving.

Shadow Work & Shamanic Soul Retrieval

Shadow work can be approached in different ways, including journaling, meditation, somatic therapy, energy healing, reparenting techniques, and more.

When we approach shadow work from a shamanic perspective, it is often done with a focus on “soul retrieval.” In the shamanic view, when we experience a traumatic event, a part of our soul might “split off” in an effort to keep itself safe. If that soul part does not naturally come back to reintegrate, it becomes an experience of “soul loss,” in which a person might feel sad, anxious, depressed, disconnected, or otherwise unlike themselves. Through ceremonial soul retrieval, the shaman and recipient work with their spirit helpers in order to identify lost soul parts that are ready to return, and with the permission of the recipient, are welcomed home once again.

It’s helpful to keep in mind that even though a vital part of yourself is returning, there may have been disconnection from it for a long time, and so reintegrating that part may initially feel a bit uncomfortable, like getting a new eyeglass prescription. It might feel different from what we are accustomed to, but ultimately supports us in seeing ourselves and the world more clearly!

Whether approaching shadow work from a personal, therapeutic, or shamanic perspective, it can be beneficial to ask the shadow or soul part of yourself what it needs to feel safe and accepted to support the process of reintegration. For example, a part that is 7 years old and asking for healing may tell the adult part of themselves that they need time to play, or daydream, in an effort to feel their needs are welcome and validated once again. If a person has a history of feeling their talents are not appreciated, they might work to heal that part by reminding themselves daily that they are inherently valuable as a human being.

When we turn inwards to ask what our soul really needs, we tap into a place of deep wisdom that reaches beyond cognition and into a greater expanse of our own consciousness. It’s a way of acknowledging our own percipience as valid, which further honors and strengthens our own intuition, boundaries, confidence and compassion.

From my heart to yours,

Megan